glitterrati

2009-06-22T19:09:00.003+08:00

Second week of school. We're still pretty much adjusting and unstable, and I'm not sure of what to do with my life, or more specifically, with all this free time. For the first time in the four years of my studying, my schedule is riddled with holes, my subjects are scattered all around the time table, and I only have one class to go to on Tuesdays.

Although I'm sure that the idleness is only temporary (since school will always find a way to eat time), it's a little weird to know that you actually have a lot of time to kill on a school day, and that you're going home with the sun still scorching hot above you and with nothing particularly important to do.

My pet society pet loves all this, though. I'm opening mystery boxes on a daily basis, my garden is alive, and I have been giving hugs regularly to my pet friends. :)

rainy june

2009-06-12T21:25:00.002+08:00

It's only a matter of days before school starts and I'm pretty much satisfied. I did, after all, get the extra week of summer vacation that I had been hoping badly for, and it really made a huge difference. That sluggish feeling I got from pretending to be an employee is finally gotten over with, I have my siestas back, and I'm almost done crossing things off my summer to-do list.

I also love how the weather has changed drastically over the few weeks. Now it's perfectly chilly at night, it's not-so-hot anymore during the day, and everything just seems to fall right into place.

Perfect. This is turning out to be the best summer ever, regardless of the obvious lack of swimming pools and tv marathons. ♥

getting back to civilization

2009-04-02T08:24:00.006+08:00

I'm now (hopefully) done with school, and after regaining all those lost hours of sleep, I am now ready to proceed with my getting-back-to-civilization plan. I don't want to call it my summer to-do list since I have barely a week to finish it all. After that I'm off to Batangas to feed the rest of my summer to community pharmacy practice (Whee).

1. Update all my online profiles
- Frankly, I really don't care anymore if my friendster account goes unopened for the rest of the year. The only reason I still bother is the thought that maybe my highschool friends still visit my page, curious to know what I've been up to.

2. Create a facebook account so I can start playing pet society
- That game is pretty addictive. Facebook is not that bad, either.

3. Catch up on blogging
- I haven't been blogging as much as I wanted to before, so now I'm hoping to make up for it.

4. Watch t.v.
- because I haven't regularly watched a show in months!

5. Sort computer files
- Somehow, most of my computer files for this semester are not arranged in folders according to subject. They're scattered in my desktop.

6. Stow away all school- related things
- I've been putting off this one because there is still no removals list for phch128, so nothing is yet final.

7. Rockband!
- My cousins are staying here until easter, and so the love for rock returns.

8. Pay my petting tax to the bunny
- Apparently, I haven't been giving much attention to the king of the house. He's the one who stayed up with me throughout the storm of exams (hence the title study buddy), so I really do have a debt to pay.

9. Catch up on highschool people
- I miss you f5g!

So that's basically all. It's a weird feeling to know that these things are on a deadline, since I don't usually set deadlines for things I otherwise call work. I really hope I can get all these done!

2009-02-22T11:10:00.003+08:00

It's a long weekend. These days feel like a much- needed breath of fresh air, since my weekends are often indistinguishable from the rest of the week. Normally, my saturdays are spent at school and sundays are consumed by deadlines and to-do lists; now, I have entirely two and a half days to spend. It doesn't seem like much but for people like me, it is very relieving and rare to find adequate time for schoolwork and even small leisurely things.

Speaking of leisure, I have lately been restricting my internet- surfing to make time for other priorities. The idea of keeping away from the inescapable vortex of blogs and networking sites seemed unheard of at first; but I remember that I have successfully given up the television in the past, and that has convinced me to believe in the magic of willpower. Now, I can proudly say that I have gotten used to a maximum of 4 hours a week of unnecessary internet time (inclusive of online chatting!). I know, I really should have a monument made soon for all this sacrifice. Haha. Seriously though, this recent act has been making me feel like I am more in-control of my time, and that can't be bad, right? So unless things change and I suddenly become in dire need of people, I am sticking to my four hours hopefully until summer vacation. It's kind of pathetic if you think about it in a one-step-closer-to-being-a-lonely-isolated-hag kind of way, but otherwise I guess it's alright. :)

It's been pretty easy so far, actually. Sure, it hurts my ego to find that booni has more friends than I do (no really, check out his bunspace), but then again my life is way way more complicated than his. :D

new year, new look

2009-01-03T22:03:00.000+08:00

Someone decided to finally change this blog's layout.

I like the gray. I've been stuck with all- white for so long that my eyes had to take some time to adjust to the darker background. Still, it's pretty much the same colors, same theme. Maybe someday I'll come up with something a little bit more elaborate, but for now this will do.

The banner is taken from Enter Sandman by Metallica and is a result of a christmas vacation that centered on playing Rockband with my cousins.

Stories to be posted soon. :)

silver linings

2008-10-23T12:11:00.002+08:00

I don't think I've ever truly felt what it's like to shed pure tears of joy until now. Never mind the pale gray clouds and early- afternoon rain. It's a sunny sunny day. :)

i see big changes

2008-10-21T12:18:00.003+08:00

Okay. So after three months or so of going on hiatus, I am finally back. I really don't have any other reason for abruptly leaving other than getting fed up with depressing, rant-y posts about how much I hated this and that. I don't know why, but even though I had something fairly celebratory to share, I somehow always ended up going back to the things I was either worried or pressured about (which is mainly, if not completely, school).

So yet again, I blame school. Haha. Anyway, I'm over it now. Thank you, sembreak! You've just saved me. ♥

bunny saves a couple from fire!

2008-07-27T21:42:00.004+08:00

Karmel told me about this a while ago, and I knew I just had to blog about it. This story is so amazing and precious, it makes me want to cuddle booni and thank him for being so cute and heroic (it wasn't him, obviously, but I tend to believe that he is every bunny I see).

bunny gives superman a run for his money

They are the best things in the world, I swear. Even without any fire or threat of death, poonpoon has already saved our lives. ♥

tardiness is my specialty

2008-07-22T18:44:00.003+08:00

Congratulate the girl who woke up at 7:00 am... for her 7:00 am class.

When I left the house, it was 7:30. I was able to get to school a little before 8 am, all thanks to an amazing taxi driver. Luckily, there was no quiz for 195, mam was out, and everyone was busy with the activity.

Thank God it wasn't pharmchem. I would've died.

Clearly, my sleeping problem has become a major disadvantage. Nothing seems able to wake me up once I reach my dreaming place, and it's really starting to bother me. I mean, is this even normal?

I think I'll be setting up 5 alarm clocks tonight. Haha.

long due closure

2008-06-28T14:54:00.010+08:00

Okay, things are really looking better now.

I can't remember a single thing I did this week other than that event. I guess it ate me up for a while. Funny though, because I had a huge expectation of it being all heavy-drama and tearful and argument-y and loud (heck I was even expecting a walk-out) but it ended up calm, airy, and even slightly awkward (I don't know if that means we're grown-up now). Thinking about it, I've resolved that what really happened was more like a court trial than a confrontation. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing because we've been waiting for explanations far too long, but I guess it's not the best thing either. After all, you can only take in as much reasoning, and I doubt that what we were standing for was well- heard and understood in the end.

Nevertheless, it was enough for me. The mere fact that it happened was enough, actually. 7 months was too long. I didn't need to see apologies or regrets from anyone (who don't even believe it was their fault to begin with). I just wanted to know that this is worth forgetting and burying grudges for. That everyone still wants to fix this.

And then maybe we can just go ahead with our lives thinking that there was never any ugly feelings at all.

I'd hate to be you right now

2008-06-24T20:17:00.007+08:00

At what point does insensitivity become a fault? I was used to believing that no one is truly insensitive, that we are all just pretending when we say we are, but I guess some people are really just made that way.

I pity you. I sincerely do.

Maybe it's a form of defense or something. Either way, it can't possibly protect you from what's about to happen.

week one

2008-06-14T16:12:00.003+08:00

Things are doing well so far, though at times it's like learning time management all over again.

Transition periods. I swear I never had to deal with anything like this when I was fresh out of school and facing summer. I guess it's a completely different story when it's the other way around.

I'll have to admit, though. I like the busy, buzzy feeling I'm getting these days. It's as if all this time my life was on hibernation, and now it's finally up and running. I can't believe I'm actually getting a lot of things done. Haha. Now, if only I can find a way to keep this kind of enthusiasm until I graduate..

...

Cheers to a new semester! :)

last day of summer

2008-06-09T22:03:00.002+08:00

Out of all the days possible, it had to happen on this day.

We're pretty much water- less. I had to go to my tita's house (which is a tricycle ride away) a while ago just to have a nice, normal bath with water that doesn't reek with canal odor. If not for the few bucketfuls of clean water left here at home (yes, that's all we have), I would be totally doomed tomorrow.

Lesson of the story:
Conserve water because it's vital and precious. Or better yet, work hard and get ridiculously rich so you can buy one of those big drinking water companies and take the longest baths in pools of purified/distilled heaven.

Haha, I like the idea.

Now thinking about it, I'm starting to wonder if maybe this crisis thing is just life reminding me to appreciate simple luxuries like water and vacations. I admit, I have been taking these things for granted. That's really clever. Now I'm feeling as if a quotations book has suddenly decided to unfold itself in my head. I can definitely find a few speaking of true value and how people are often so oblivious of it.

See, the lack of a decent shower makes me think too much.

Renovations are done!

2008-06-09T00:32:00.003+08:00

This blog had been set on 'private' mode during the past week, and some people have already asked me about it. I didn't do it because I suddenly felt all protective and private, I did it because I have been so pathetically slow in fixing the layout. Yes, I'm using the word pathetic here because as you people can see, I worked with the simplest layout possible.

Not that I hate simple, though. After all, I only wanted a breather from the previous layout, and the lack of yellow does the job fairly well.

...

Oh, and the text in the header and title are from a Queen song. I don't know why I've been hooked to them lately.

Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm travelling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man of you

It's catchy :D

2008-05-25T23:46:00.009+08:00

Some pretty random realizations over the past few days:

1. Packaging tape works wonders for shedding bunnies

Seriously. We've always had problems about bunny fur getting all over us (i.e. skin, face, and horribly, inside our noses and mouths) when booni decides that it's shedding season. It's not that we don't try (on the contrary, we've tried everything from plucking with our hands to using velcro); that stuff is just too elusive and abundant for us to take. And the fact that there are such things as asthma and allergy doesn't help at all.

Bunnies aren't all fluff and cuteness you know.

So we just decided to live with it- that is, until such a brilliant and ~divine~ idea dawned on us. I mean, wow. Genius. It wasn't even intended; I was busy playing with stickers one night while petting Bunny when I nonchalantly put a sticker onto his fur. Then I tried packaging tape, which happened to be nearby. The whole thing looked very similar to a waxing session. Haha. Soon, we were all rubbing him with it, and our fur- inhaling and eating days were (sort-of) over, and we were very happy people. :)

2. Little kittens are smelly but fun.

We spotted a black cat and her two kittens in the garden the other day (which is actually a normal thing, since this place has always been like a free hotel for stray cats), and for some reason, my tita and brother decided to abduct one of the kittens. They got the uglier one at first, but it was still really cute so we let it stay for a few hours inside the house. We named it Kitteen (see the pattern in our pet- naming). Eventually, we returned Kitteen and then plotted a scheme to steal the cuter one. We named the second kitten Brother, because he/she looked like a Brother. Haha. Three things I learned about kittens: they smell like patis, their claws come out when you press their fingers, and the bottom of their paws have things that feel like jelly. Suddenly, I missed being able to carry a pet with one hand. The kittens felt like nothing, whereas Booni weighs around 6-7 lbs. now, which makes it nearly impossible to lift him without using a considerable amount of force.

3. There's only 2 weeks of vacation left.

My heart flopped when I started counting time and found out that I only have less than 20 days of sweet idleness left. Sad. Now I just feel like finishing the rest of my summer to-do list.

astro-love

2008-05-22T01:03:00.005+08:00

I am such a loser. I haven't blogged in over a month!

I've never really been "busy" all this time; it was either (a) procrastination; (b) boredom so intense that there wasn't anything even remotely interesting to write about; or (c) thoughts of starting over in a new blog. The last choice has been in my thoughts since summer had started. At first, I only wanted to change the layout of this one, but I eventually realized that even a new layout won't give me the illusion of "moving on" and "renewal" that I had wanted, and so I started widening my options. If ever it occured, it would be my second attempt to change URLs but my first to literally start over (I brought all my previous posts with me when I first moved). So there. What still keeps me from doing it, though, is my unfailing doubt that there will be a difference in the end, and of course, the hassle involved.

But then again I really do want to start over.

*******

I am one of those horoscope people. It is one of the few things I regularly read in the daily paper (along with young blood, pugad baboy, baby blues, and ripley's believe it or not), and I honestly enjoy receiving my daily dose of predictions. Like some horoscope people, my reason in reading these things is not really to let the stars rule over my everyday living, but to draw casual amusement from ooh-my-horoscope-was-right-it-totally-happened moments. I guess it's a lot like magic in that sense: I don't really believe in it, but it's fun to occasionally pretend that I did.

Anyway, I tried this astrolabe thing, and it's really really accurate. Although kind of long and redundant, it's definitely worth a try. It made me think about any possible babies that were born at exactly the same time and place as mine. I mean, wouldn't that person be like my personality twin or something?

Yes, I know. I am one really bored kid.

(I will only be posting some parts of what I got because it's insanely long and I'm too lazy to learn how to do a sort of lj-cut here)

Name: Astrolabe Customer

September 13 1989

12:25 AM Time Zone is AWST

Manila, PHIL

Rising Sign is in 04 Degrees Cancer

Very sensitive by nature, you prefer to be in your own familiar surroundings. Cautious and conservative, you make changes in your life only very slowly, if at all. You do not open up easily to strangers. Friendships are made for life, however -- once given, your trust is forever. Your mother, your home as a child and your early family life in general are very important to you. You are also very sentimental. When you feel self- confident, you are gentle, giving and protective of the needs of others. But when you feel insecure or threatened, you become overly sensitive to criticism, shy, withdrawn and moody. You have a strong need for security -- in the sense that you are being loved, nourished and protected.

Sun is in 19 Degrees Virgo
Extremely careful and cautious by nature, you value neatness and order above all else. You rigorously practice very high standards of living and conduct and you demand the same of everyone with whom you come into contact. At times, you are so supercritical that you are merely nit-picky. You are very good at practical skills and quite handy with tools of all kinds. You are also greatly concerned with hygiene, cleanliness and personal health problems. Very likely your health is much better than you think it is -- don't worry so much! Extremely methodical and analytical, you are a perfectionist -- this makes you the perfect person to carry out highly detailed, precise operations. But, at times, you pay so much attention to details that you lose sight of the larger issues.

Mercury is in 10 Degrees Libra
You are known for not jumping to conclusions about things. You tend to weigh all possible choices very carefully before making a decision. When in the slightest amount of doubt, you will compromise rather than ruffle any feathers. You are a true raconteur of culture and taste -- your ideas and opinions are neat, elegant and refined. A born diplomat, you dislike discord so much that you will go out of your way to make others feel comfortable and at ease. You speak softly and pleasantly.

summer

2008-04-12T20:15:00.003+08:00

When it's forty degrees outside,
and everything is hot and sticky,
and a dry spell is cast upon my throat,

I crave for mounds of colored ice on crunchy frozen cones;
I crave for blasts of autumn air upon my face;
I crave for you, and the chills I feel every time.

When it's forty degrees outside,
and my eyesight is slowed and blurred,
and drops of sweat play freely on my skin,

I crave for millions of raindrops populating a dark sky;
I crave for frosted numbness upon my lips;
I crave for you, and the chills I feel every time.

When it's forty degrees outside,
and the air is heavy and on fire,
and the sun teases with its burning whips,

I crave for goosebumps breaking free from my skin;
I crave for sudden chills flurrying up my spine;
I crave for you, and the things I feel every time.

*** This is basically rule- free, so I don't know if it can be considered a poem. I just thought I'd write something to describe how hot it gets around here. Other than that, the text above really does not hold any personal equivalence as of the present. Haha.

yay for bored, artistic koreanovela fans

2008-03-30T23:44:00.008+08:00

I was browsing through some templates on blogskins when I crossed upon this:

*My Girl, by paperlove♥

Omgomgomgomg. I instantly missed My Girl. Of course, I'm not yet that obsessed to actually use this template but still, I wouldn't mind staring at it for a little while longer. Haha.

Julian is ♥.

*dies*

finally, an end-of-sophomore-year post

2008-03-29T17:04:00.013+08:00

I am now temporarily done with school. I mean, wow, it's finally over. If it hadn't been too obvious (yeah right), I've been ranting about getting out and starting my summer pretty much ever since the semester began. And now, I got my wish. No more waiting. After what seemed like doomed eternity, I am finally free to do whatever I want (which are basically things that I also needed to do, like cleaning my room and getting back in- touch with highschool friends, that were quietly neglected due to the dominant and demanding need of passing my subjects). Finally, I have more or less two months to actually have a life and to go back to being my natural, slacker self. Oh I looove you summer!

Actually, I celebrated my newfound freedom yesterday by falling flat on my face on the sofa the moment I got home and instantly dozing off. Haha, what a glamorous way to start.

______________________________________________________________

Karmel graduates today, and everyone in the house is excited about it. Graduation is such a promising word. We all study and tolerate whatever school throws at us in hopes that one day we'll get to taste the relief of finishing our schooling and being many steps closer to that coveted dream job and dream life. Of course, I still have three (or three plus, wag naman sana) years to spend in studying and tolerating but still, the idea of graduating serves as a handy and constant motivation to me during desperate, sleep- deprived times when I want to slam my head into a wall and just go AWOL on school.

I know, I know. Life after graduation isn't a happy- ever- after. But at least it's not hell.

I started the second year with sunshine in my face and certainty in my eyes. The first semester was hard but bearable. I began to appreciate little and otherwise ignored things, like school- free Saturdays and Gbox days. I turned 18, and it left me with a hint of optimism. Maybe, I thought, I can handle anything I put my mind into. The second semester came, and the flood of schoolwork that came with it left me struggling for time. As if on cue, personal problems also began to arise. The lantern parade was depressing. And I had what seemed like the shortest Christmas vacation ever.

So there. The next three months were fast, but not really. I found myself watching as events unfolded without me having to do anything. There were of course, happy times. The fieldtrips were lots of fun and there were random "detox" moments when we'd pretend that we're not stressed, but then when things got tough, they were unforgiving. The exams came and coffee soon became my savior/bestfriend/enemy. I got sick. I got tired. But I still didn't stop the coffee. Nevertheless, my sleeping pattern fluctuated.

There's no doubt that this semester has been the toughest half- year of my life so far. My resilience (in all aspects) has been stretched to points that were never reached before. There were a few times when I thought I was going to break. I didn't. And I'm very very thankful for that.

Needless to say, not everything is solved by 2 months of vacation. Right now I can still think of two unresolved things, but whatever. I need some time- out and they probably do so too, so maybe we can all get back to that in June.

For 60 days I promise to attend to my own happiness above all, and I intend to keep that promise.

Good luck to me! Haha. Have a great summer, everyone.

because I have serious distraction issues

2008-03-23T00:25:00.006+08:00

I don't know why, but I always crave something artsy when my head is into deep studying.

Ooooo. Eye candy.

1. Untitled, 2. Sweet.Heart, 3. summer 2006, 4. peekaboo, 5. scarves, pins, belts, 6. Candle light, 7. mixed messages, 8. Untitled, 9. Into The Night, 10. tickets, 11. .reach for the stars., 12. self portrait tuesday #16 (reflective), 13. big*windows, 14. Untitled, 15. polka swirl, 16. Sassy Nikon Shooter, 17. Untitled, 18. Ballroom Chairs, 19. Untitled, 20. caffeine spider (pt2), 21. making, 22. ahhh!, 23. Shoes, 24. Tasty Rainbow, 25. Bow, 26. Untitled, 27. 66/366, 28. tuesday/blue, 29. Ice Cream Couple, 30. can you feel the wind, 31. Untitled, 32. Hush, 33. Untitled, 34. elsie*, 35. .every girls dream., 36. Sweetness

The colors make me feel cozy. Thank you flickr for bringing together all the great photographers of the world.

we all need a break

2008-03-20T12:54:00.010+08:00

Oww. My right arm is really hurting after playing badminton for 7 (?) straight hours yesterday, but there's no complaints. I had lots of fun, and it's nice and rare to feel tired and happy at the same time.

There's only one more week left of school. One week. It's a bit overwhelming to know that you'll only need to hold on for 5 more days, and then it's over. Finally, I can say goodbye to hell-ish subjects and hell- ish conflicts. Finally, I can start being carefree again. Finally, things won't have to be happening so fast.

I can't wait to have all the time in my hands.

yeeeaaaah

2008-03-09T20:03:00.002+08:00

I will scream when this sem finally ends and I can officially call it summer. :D

I'm breathing uncertainty

2008-03-05T22:32:00.007+08:00

Anything can happen at this point. I'm soaking myself in different kinds of possibilities, just to prevent being caught up in the end. Okay, so here I go being all serious again. Boo me.

I guess it really bothers me to know that stuff could turn out either way; that although things may just turn out fine, there is also this big possibility that they may not. Also, "stuff" does not refer to only one situation here. Great. So I think it's all up to time now.

Screw judgement and broken loyalty and failure.

Onto the lighter side of life: I finally got myself a bunny shirt! Haha. Tita yagi will probably die, because it's 100% booni. Hmm, maybe it was another product of his mind control. Anyway, I was only supposed to help angge buy new flats, but obviously my impulsiveness (and bunny power) got in the way again and my money said goodbye. Thanks a lot angge. :p

There. Actually I'm supposed to be acting super busy right now, but somehow I can't find the will to stress myself out and worry about getting better grades. I honestly don't know why.

manila ocean park

2008-03-02T23:12:00.005+08:00

So happy.

I sort of have this list of "things to do before I die" up in my head, and I just crossed out one thing today.

28. ~~Get to be in an underwater tunnel~~

Yeeeeeey!!! I can't get over my awe. I've been looking forward to the bio fieldtrip ever since I knew about the tunnel, and I'm really glad my enthusiasm was not wasted. Haha, shallow me. Oh well, I'm still going to rave about it. :)

Living in the Philippines, you can't expect much from attractions like the Manila Ocean Park, so I was amazed by the mere thought that there actually was going to be an underwater tunnel in there. I've always dreamed of being in one of those (especially after seeing Hongkong's Ocean Park in a brochure or something), with the stingrays swimming above you and everything. Of course, when it finally happened and I saw the huge aquarium, I squealed like a little girl. Never mind if the tunnel was short and escalator- less; it was the underwater tunnel of my dreams (again, pardon the shallowness of it all).

So that's basically the Manila Ocean Park experience for me. Hehe. Too bad they didn't have a dolphin show or something- That would've made it a hundred times more awesome. :D

fieldtrip

2008-02-25T15:51:00.018+08:00

Yay to detoxification and being simply blithe. I almost forgot how great it feels to just stay in a bus seat for hours, stuff yourself with junk, and go wild with equally wild friends. Fieldtrips are the best, I tell you. :D

Through all the fieldtrips I've had, I've always been consistent in believing that the ride home is the best part. Everyone is just tired and rocking out, wishing for heavy traffic and an endless busride. It's a weird feeling, actually, to find that you've somehow escaped reality by going out to some far place and being unmindful of whatever time it is. It's exactly the sort of feeling that I'm craving for, no matter how temporary it may be.

Yay to the first fieldtrip of my college life (and extra yay to the middle folding bus seat which saved my partner- less life)!

That's us playing with breadstix. haha. Credits to jaja for this picture.

2008-02-19T20:17:00.002+08:00

Today is worry-about-everything day. I really really really want to bury my head underground right now.

...

And the ugliest part of it all is having to sleep with mind images of how things could turn out tomorrow. Argg. Someone save me a.s.a.p.!

I am sooooo dead.

i'm back

2008-02-16T22:33:00.003+08:00

I was quite surprised to learn that I've abandoned this blog once again for almost 20 days. I don't know, I guess February is just zooming by while I'm still in freeze mode. I think it's great, though, because it means I won't have to wait long till I finally get to taste that sweet summer freedom.

Anyway.. moving on.

Because it's been a while and a LOT of things have again happened in my little world, here's a short recap:

1. Things are looking a lot better at school. The flurry of stresses has finally calmed to 1 to 2 per week, and I'm loving that my sleeping pattern is normal again (meaning no waking up in the middle of the night to do school stuff). Yay! :)

2. I have been saturated with college drama. I mean, I never expected people to still have issues in college, but apparently, I was wrong. The thing was, friendships can still be broken like that and boys are still synonymous to trouble (because some are immature and don't know anything). Naman. Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them! haha.

3. I've been sick. And I had 3 exams while I've been sick. So goodluck to me for the results of that.

4. Karmel went off to some national journalism contest in Cotabato (bigtime e), so I have the whole room to myself. *evil laugh*

5. I have a new cousin! Wow. I should be having nieces at this age . Tita Yna finally delivered a baby girl (I haven't asked about the date because I just learned about it a few moments ago). Her name's Simone, I think, and because they're in the US, I won't see her till next Christmas (or the Christmas after that). I want pictures!

So that's about everything. I'll be ending this post with my favorite picture of the week. No--make that my favorite picture of the year. hehe.

That's poonpoon licking lolo's leg. hahaha. They have the funniest love- hate relationship!

2008-01-28T19:55:00.000+08:00

Hell week, here we go..

I'm crossing my fingers.

paint me black

2008-01-27T12:40:00.000+08:00

Emo- rock is like the ultimate trend these days. One time, you see people walking around in boho skirts, another time you see them in retro glasses and leggings. Now you see them in dark skinny jeans, sneakers, black nails and long, side- swept bangs. And I don't just mean the girls here.

Passing by monumento almost everyday, I see a lot of emo people. A lot. In fact, because I've grown so used to their hanging around in all- black outfits and coffin /skull /nightmare before christmas backpacks, I cannot imagine not seeing at least one. Yeah, emo is that normal to me. But then again there's such a thing as being too normal.

_____________________________________________

I was kind of surprised when I learned from karmel that there are true- blue emos in highschool. By true- blue emos, I mean those that hurt themselves and have this Oh-the-world-is-so-cruel-so-I-must-slash-my-wrist-to-be-numb mentality. I mean, you don't expect highschool kids to have minds like that, do you? Exactly. So it was simply weird to me. What's even more weird is the fact that no one does anything about it (because it's normal and they don't actually kill themselves anyway).

Because of that, I've learned to pity /hate /laugh at emos. I mean, sulking and certainly wrist- slashing won't do them any good, so why won't they try getting a life instead? They're even lucky they don't have to spend everyday in a torture- chamber of a university (and there I go being bitter about school again)!

So there. I hated emos.

But just two days ago, I was with hundreds of them.

Really, hundreds of them. At the MCR concert. I should've expected it. MCR was like, the god of emos. They were the pioneers of emo. No, they were emo. And if only I hated them like I hated their followers, I wouldn't have gone to what looked like a goth convention.

But obviously, I didn't hate them. I loved them, I loved their songs (loud as they were) and I loved seeing them perform. And thanks to the already- bought tickets that would haunt me with guilt if they'd gone to waste, I went to the concert with karmel and tita yagi unmindful of an impending exam the next day. So it was hello, emo-ness for me.

I thought: just for one night, one very black January night, I would be an emo.

I would be a white t-shirt, ballet flats- wearing emo with unpolished nails.

...

The concert was super fun. Although I didn't know all of the songs they played (I failed to research), they gave one hell of a performance. Amazing. I screamed every time I saw Gerard Way jump up and down the stage. I don't think anyone could've been better than him when it comes to jumping and shaking onstage, and I love that he shakes his hips like a girl. haha. Highlights of the show were Welcome to the Black Parade, I Don't Love You, Famous Last Words (which was the last song they played), and an unreleased song called Kill All Your Friends.

And, as if God wanted me to change my mind about emos, I've witnessed no wrist- slashing activity or any other weirdness. Okay, I witnessed a lot of weirdness, but no blood. Haha.

__________________________________________________________

Rock on, emos of the world, rock on. *makes rocker sign with hand*

my debt to the sandman

2008-01-24T19:43:00.000+08:00

Okay. This week, I think I did some serious damage to my body clock.

So far it's been one caffeine shot after another, an average of 2 -4 hours of sleep per night taken in intervals, and a lot of heavy sleeping in the bus and jeepney ride home. I don't even know why I still haven't collapsed at school or whatever- I've been almost expecting it. Seriously, my eyelids feel like they have sumo wrestlers on them. My head has been turning (or not, but that's how it feels like anyway) and I'm 100 % sure that the moment it touches a pillow- Poof. I'm off to dreamland.

People just don't understand. I need to get my sleep. And for me, 4 hours- not even 6- will do.

At this time, when there are exams, prelabs, and quizzes to prepare for, I need a serious miracle.

Oh body clock, please hold on for me. (- . -)

My Big Book of Problems: Chapter 1

2008-01-19T16:53:00.000+08:00

Life's been a little busy again so I haven't found time nor the right state of mind to write anything. Honestly, I'm starting to find it harder and harder to find the right words to use and turn thoughts into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, etcetera, etcetera. It's like there's this great traffic in my head that goes on all day, never ceasing, never mellowing, simply staying there and being unforgiving to silence. End result: it's been almost a month since I last wrote anything here.

Woo, I think I might be going crazy. haha. Credits to the constant, multiple stressors that never fail to pay me a visit (bleh).

Seriously, I cannot imagine not being able to write, so with a quick dose of apprehension, here I am, typing away my worries and being unmindful of whatever grammatical errors I may have created. I just feel like I need to save this part of me, to squeeze out a little time amidst the prelab reports, exams, and everyhting else, to let my guard down.

Type. Type. Just type.

I can almost imagine my conscience nagging me for failing to prioritize again. So far, all of the "me time" I should've been giving myself has given way to "sleep time". And when I wake up, hello- it's back to being busy with other things again.

It's so disappointing sometimes to have such a long to-do-list, then learning later on that you can't really do all of what's in there. Distractions don't help at all, either.

___________________________________________________

...

"Time is Gold." I remember how almost everyone in highschool chose that 3- word phrase as their favorite motto in the school yearbook. It's silly, over- used, and should be banned in all yearbooks forever, but I just realized that it actually makes sense. Right now I feel like doing anything to buy me some time, to leave behind the conventional and to finally do the things I really need to do - like go on vacation, watch a movie marathon, or pet my bunny for the entire day.

I feel like I'm missing out a lot by being busy, but I guess that's just the way it has to be. I mean, I'm still lucky that at least I have things to keep me occupied, and that I'm not some bum collecting calories and being bored as hell. Besides, it's not like I can just stop all my other priorities and hope that the world stops with me, right? It's one of those situations where you can't really do anything but to go with the current and hope to reach the end of it.

Yeah, so there we go- it's back to the great traffic for me. :p

booni is one!

2007-12-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

Yeah. It's kind of weird to look back and realize that we have been under the power of the bun for exactly a year now. It's actually a very big accomplishment, as booni is the first bunny to have survived a year with us (thanks to the intense researching on bunny care). :)

It wows me to see how big he's grown. I feel so proud. haha. Happy birthday poonpoon! I'm wishing us more years of bunny love to come. :)

Oh, and congrats and goodluck to angge on their new baby bunnies!

2007-12-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

Always second, never first.

details to be posted when tiredness fades

edit:
Finally, the verdict was made and our facade won second place. To be honest about it, we weren't happy with the outcome. I wallowed in disappointment yesterday about the whole thing, but things are looking a lot better now.

I guess it just takes time to accept something as harsh as the realization of being only second best, considering all the hard work put into it. I initially refused to settle for anything less than first place because I know we have not given anything less than our all in working in that facade. But then again, acceptance must come in order for contentment to linger and so I've learned to let go of that sentiment and simply be grateful that at least we've created something wonderful. The number of sacrifices made along the way was paid off, not by any award, but simply by the sight of our glowing masterpiece.

That's life, as they say. Anyway, there will always be time for redemption.

Redemption. Where everything is twice as sweet. ;)

Our facade. The cube can be turned. What could be better than that? :)

btw, thank you karen for the facade pic :)

when the world doesn't cooperate

2007-12-14T21:15:00.000+08:00

It's 9 pm and I haven't opened a single page in my Bio manual. Exam's tomorrow, I was planning to study through the night, and then I hear loud Christmas songs played by a drum and lyre band just outside my window. Great. I'm definitely turning anti- Christmas this year.

What's the point behind carolling anyway? Why spoil peace just to pretend you have talent, play a song, and ask for money from the very same people you have just disturbed? It's not like everyone badly needs to hear a song that has been the same way year after year.

I am so bitter. Blame it on the drum and lyre band.

And they're still not stopping.

I need SILENCE!!!! Shet. :(

2007-11-28T01:45:00.000+08:00

I thought I had lost my bunny today :(

I'm still awake and blogging because I can still feel tension pumping in my every vein. The shock from seeing Booni that way was unforgettable.

It all started with the story of the new pellet mix, which turned out to be full of junk. Bunny didn't poop all day and we feared that he wasn't feeling well. Finally, he pooped but it was still weird so there was still a bit of worry. Things were fine, I checked him occasionally.

And then it happened.

I saw him sprawled out on the floor, looking dull and still. His nose wasn't moving. My heart stopped and blood flushed down inside my head. Shocked as I was, I tried to shake him a little bit but he wasn't responding. Neither was his chest expanding. I felt instant panic waves. "Oh my God." was the only thing I managed to tell myself despite the sudden burst of thoughts. Cluelessness blanketed me and tears started to well up as I sulked in that particular moment and absorbed the possibility that was in front of me. I looked away for a few seconds, scared as hell. It was the longest minute of my life.

I closed my eyes and tried to shake my bunny again, this time harder and with desperation. He ground his teeth a little bit. Oh Relief!

It turned out that he was simply engulfed in deep sleep, but from the looks of him anyone could've been fooled. I found myself slightly shaking after that, but things were okay and that was the important thing.

Life really is short and it can end just like that.. so tonight I've decided to give the bunny unlimited cuddles.

this is to kulotina

2007-11-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

It's my bessie's birthday today, so I know I just had to make a shoutout:

Happy happy 18th birthday to my dearest Therese! I love you soo much. :)

And because I'm such a proud best friend, I'll also post the cliche-filled, made-in-5-minutes introduction we used (because I know she'll be reading this and she probably failed to hear it).

Her sunshiny aura captivates us. Her kindness inspires us. Her charming and caring nature makes her a friend and a loved one to all those who know her, and her colorful and bubbly spirit never fails to bring us joy. Inside her lives an effervescent little girl with an incessant lust for living, yet we see a responsible young woman with an undeniable ability to make dreams happen. She is great yet modest, determined yet lighthearted, spirited yet reserved. She is Claudia Therese, our cause for celebration today, our energetic little girl who is officially grown up. Let us stand up and welcome her as she enters into the world of womanhood, let us clap our hands and cheer as we are privileged to witness this relevant moment in her life. This is the coming out of Ms. Claudia Therese Golosino, our very own cartoon- loving girl who has now blossomed into a more lovable lady.

It is so nice to see old friends again. There's a lot of catching up to do on each other's lives, there's a lot of new questions and surprises, but the mere prescence of one another is enough to make it a priceless day. We are stripped of all worries each time, and it would almost seem as if we are completely carefree, because we are enjoying ourselves and we want to preserve that. Time does fly when you're having fun, and before we knew it it was time to go back to our individual lives and to say goodbye. There is never enough time for those kinds of things, yet when it comes to stresses I feel like I've been enduring them forever.

It's wonderful to see Therese glow. It's wonderful to stand beside Afel and try so much to make it a successful day (armed with poor emceeing skills). I don't know how, but when it comes to those two I can never feel too tired of trying.

I felt like I was in a completely different world today. And it was great. ♥

'tis the season for bunnies

2007-11-12T19:13:00.000+08:00

The crisp Christmas air is all around. Nights seem to be longer these days and there's no denying the Christmas decor in shopping malls and busy streets. There's even the conventional "__ days before Christmas" countdown on tv that began way back in mid- October. Truth is, it'll only be a few blinks till Santa's reindeer- powered sleigh soars again to give everyone that familiar fuzzy feeling.

We recently assembled the Christmas tree, placed it in the same spot where it sits every year, and decorated it with the usual orange ribbons, lights, balls, and the ever- present star on top. We looked at our finished work and was ready to continue with our lives when we noticed that our tree was a very very orange tree. It lacked something- and so we found ourselves in a dilemma.

...until this came along.

Booni probably worked on his mind- controlling powers really well, because we ended up with a still-orange-but-with-bunny-trinkets tree. (Can you spot where the real bunny is in this picture?)

Bunny addiction indeed became our saving grace. Tita yagi even had this cute idea of filling the bunny trinkets with candy on Christmas day. Booni must be doing his evil laugh because he will certainly be dominating our Christmas.

More pictures of the bun! (Of course he had to explore his mini- shrine of a tree)

"what's zis ball zhing on my headz?"

"I likez to poze!"

I think I'm going to die from too much cuteness. x)

everything's new

2007-11-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

Cheers for the new url and layout!

I decided to change my url because of some "issues". Bottom line is, I am very sensitive about people intruding my personal space.

To those who are thinking: "What in the world does her url mean?", Here's a short explanation:

"Glitterrati" is a combination of the words "glitter" and "literati" (the spelling is a little off because the name was originally taken). The name just popped in my head one day as I was trying to think of a new blog name. I thought it was perfect because it summed up my biggest passions: writing and kaartehan. And, because I was out of ideas anyway, glitterrati it was. I later learned that the word itself refers to socialites who attend fashionable events, but that is definitely not the meaning I had in mind when I thought of this name.

I am proud to say that I'm on my way to learning html. It's a trial- and- error stage right now and I have only memorized very few codes, but this layout is a start.

Wow. I am learning html. It's now safe to say that nothing is impossible once you set your mind into something. :)

human tetris

2007-11-06T10:52:00.000+08:00

Japanese people are so creative when it comes to games like this. It's hilarious.

You know you want to click me

How I wish most of our gameshows focused on quality entertainment- not on giving out cash (and false hopes).

human tetris rules! :D

all saints' day

2007-11-02T22:42:00.000+08:00

Great news: I'm finally home (yay civilization).

November 1 has always been the same thing for me every year: (1) watch lola es make her flower arrangements, (2) try to get in the memorial park without suffocating from the massive crowd, (3) alternate standing, sitting on a monoblock chair and making "kandong" to anyone with an available lap, (4) eat fishcrackers while passing time, and (5) repeat steps 3 and 4 until boredom sets in and everybody decides to go home. Every year, this day is considered a father's-side holiday, for the simple reason that the dead in mama's side are buried in far Ilocos. It's been sort- of a tradition, actually, to do things exactly the same way year- after- year during all saints' day.

But traditions (like promises.. haha) are made and eventually broken, so this year I decided to forget the steps above and make it a less predictable holiday. I spent the day at a memorial park in Taytay, Rizal- even though not a single person in our family is buried there.

I sold flowers.

Yes, flower arrangements for the dead, the kind that comes in small pots and green floral foam.

Never in my craziest mind state have I imagined myself doing this, but I guess there's always room for surprises. Tita lelet had this weird business idea of buying flowers by the bulk, arranging them, and selling them to people who entered the memorial park without flowers to decorate the niches of their loves ones. I initially thought we were going to taytay just to visit my grandparents there, but as it turns out, I was so wrong. While karmel freely expressed her creativity by helping with the flower arrangements (in the comforts of a house), I was stuck at a chairless booth in the place of the dead.

Realization: People are kuripot when it comes to giving flowers to their deceased loved ones.

I was all for the new experience, though. It was boring, definitely, to sit at a nearby boulder (no chairs remember) for hours. But it was still something new, and that made it somehow un- boring. I guess that's the good thing about breaking traditions- it gives us space to step out of our comfort zones.

_______________________

I laughed so hard at the line my 6- year old cousin used to lure people into buying some flowers:

"Bili bili na kayo ng bulaklak dito.. para po sa mga nililigawan nyo!"

Just imagine a loud- voiced, high- pitched little girl shouting that line out repeatedly in front of a cemetery.

sembreak!

2007-10-27T20:59:00.000+08:00

At long last, after going through hellish nights/ mornings of brain- stuffing, I've finally tasted sweet temporary freedom.

So this is what it's like. hehe. I love you sembreak!

It's been 4 days since I last went to school, and I'm not complaining. I LOVE the boredom. I love having siesta after lunch. I love the absence of eyebags and coffee. It feels great to finally have all the time in my hands, time that I can fully devote to myself. Trash guilt. I don't care if I'm self- absorbed. haha. Everyone deserves a break, after all. It's a necessity. No one wants to lose themselves in the process of working so hard for such a long time, right?

We all need that idle time to take a pause and to look at what we've accomplished so far, to regain energy and enthusiasm from that and from the possibility of doing even more.

Naks. As if I have any accomplishments to look at. haha.

_______________________________________________

Because I have been home-bound these past few days, I didn't miss the Erap episode. Ugh. Every time I consider actually caring about Philippine politics, it rears its ugly head on me. The whole presidential pardon thing is just crap. They hurry in passing it and try to make it sound reasonable when in fact it is just a big stupid attempt by the administration to please the masses and cover- up their own scandals. Do they really think people are stupid enough to believe their reasons? The public acknowledgment that Erap will never run for public office again does not assure anyone that he is sorry for his ways. Obviously, that isn't enough to set a guilty man free!

Oh, and the royal welcoming of San Juan is just sad.

state of mind: sick of politics, not sick of boredom

5 reasons to hate this day

2007-10-17T21:49:00.000+08:00

Reason no. 5:

My bun made extra ‘pa-cute’ last night, while I was in the middle of reviewing for my Chem finals. He jumped on the bed then dozed off. As in slept on MY bed. Grabe. Even tita yagi was victimized by the evil bunny. We just had to lie down and pet him till our arms ached. So much for the puyat brigade (karmel was the only one who survived).

That’s not the bad part.

I was only able to review two chapters last night so I had to wake up really early this morning just to finish. And that is just the worst thing for me.

Reason no. 4:

I took the Chem finals, and spent 2+ hours squeezing answers out of my brain.

Reason no. 3:

I was on my way home, blanked, when this big guy beside me starts to fall asleep. He then starts leaning on me as if I was some wall, ready to accept 90 percent of his body weight (and I estimate that to be around 200 pounds). Good thing I didn’t buy any iced coffee or I would’ve shoved it down his gaping mouth (okay, that was evil). To that sleepy guy: bring a bed next time, please lang! Or at least try to trim down so you won’t crush bones. I understand that you may have been sleepless for days, pero wag naman sa jeep! Ambigat mo kaya!

Reason no. 2:

My YM has a virus. And I never get viruses. Ever.

AVG anti -virus stinks.

Reason no. 1:

I should be studying physics but I’m too mad over the YM thing. So instead I’m airing out my issues here. And that means I’ll probably have to wake up really early again and cram the studying tomorrow. Hayy.

2007-10-15T21:09:00.000+08:00

The best time to do nothing is when you need to do everything.

Finals week. Right now I just want to sink my head in bed and drift away.

Hello Dreamland :)

jimmy

2007-10-11T19:08:00.000+08:00

The good music is pouring.

Okay, so maybe the dashboard album wasn't so disappointing. It just needs a little getting used to.

Moving on.

I am currently obssessed with the new jimmy album. The songs inspire without bordering on over- sentimental. It's the perfect soundtrack for those it's-raining-and-I-want-to-rant-about-you days. haha. Or not.

I can forever soak myself in their music. Emo, but true.

Even the album cover says it all.

Beautiful colors. Beautiful album.

state of mind: I want confetti rain

string quartet

2007-10-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

I am so disappointed with the new dashboard album. The songs failed to amaze me this time. Plus, they were only about 2 minutes long. sigh.

I don't even want to elaborate.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tita yagi is my hero. She exchanged mp3s with us and introduced me to the string quartet. I know the name sounds operatic, but they are really such musical geniuses. They made this tribute to different bands/ artists by playing selected songs with strings (and maybe some percussion). The experience is exactly like listening to an orchestra play rock songs. It only proves how much of a nerd I am. haha.

Right now I am in love with their rendition of Sweet Child of Mine.

(I badly want to put it here but I remember how irritated I am of the instant- playing things)

Their version of Helena is also super, and their tribute to dashboard helped me cope with my previous disappointment. hehe. But it's sad they didn't play Stolen (or Vindicated).

Other tributes are to: incubus, coldplay, fall out boy, simple plan, red hot chili peppers, and evanescence. They also did Losing my Religion, Ironic and Mr. Brightside.

The great thing I've discovered about them is that you can play the songs even while studying. It won't distract you, swear.

G&R - sweet child ...

I just felt the need to put this. I removed the autoplay. haha.

state of mind: music overload

2007-09-25T18:04:00.000+08:00

Life is hard. It's never "easy" or "perfect" for ANYONE.

Sometimes it feels like the world is against us. Sometimes we feel like we're at the bottom of the heap, picked on and ignored. We do not feel like achieving, dreaming, and caring, because our pessimistic selves know that something wrong will always come along to steal the seemingly happy picture. We keep on wishing for a life different from ours, a life that we believe is better for us. We choose to be indifferent, secretly hoping that time would bring us to a better world.

But this is never the case. The world is never against us. Yes, life is hard. But it can also be the biggest canvass for our dreams, the biggest book for our stories.

We choose to give up and protect ourselves from the pain without realizing that pain is essential. We wish to go the easy way and be born possessing what we want without understanding that we can never achieve true fulfillment this way.

Nothing feels better than success. And that is what this life is all about.

Let us own our dreams and smile at every challenge, no matter how hard. Let us be comforted in the thought that we will improve after the storm and that by handling the pain, we are crawling our way to the top. We may think about future problems, but we must never let it stop us from savoring every sweet bit of victory we have at the present.

Life is hard. It may surprise us. But above all we must believe that we are Invincible in our own right.
_______________________________________________________

Sorry for the weak sentencing and arrangement, endless thoughts are entering my head right now. Anyway, I just might have found my persuasive speech for Comm III. Now for the intense editing. :)

{I'm feeling: like giving a speech}

booni ♥

2007-09-18T20:37:00.000+08:00

Booni came home from the vet today. We had him neutered (just search for the meaning of this) yesterday.

At the vet

Home at last

Why have him neutered in the first place? Because:

1. It will add 6 years to his lifespan;
2. It will (supposedly) end or lessen any naughtiness (ex. eating paint off the walls, chomping people when angry);
3. He will have better litter box habits (no more peeing on the bed!);
3. It will end the humping.

__________________________________________________________

Hay.. the humping. For those who do not know what this means, just take this: humping = increasing the population.

Booni does this practically everyday. Now I know why the playboy logo is so. Because we do not have (and we do not plan to have) a girl rabbit around, he humps legs. Yes, he humps all types of legs, but I still think tien- tien is the favorite.

Must I post a picture of my humping bunny?

Sorry booni, but this picture is just too funny.

Anyway, goodbye to that. Get well, poonpoon :)

Visit booni's multiply for his blog entry on the neuter experience

{I'm loving: Brighter than Sunshine - Aqualung}

18

2007-09-16T00:09:00.000+08:00

I woke up an 18 year old today. I only realized that after all the stress has gone and I have finished taking my pharmchem exam. I didn’t care before that- in fact, this birthday was supposedly the worst birthday ever (because I was constantly plagued with worries). But I soon found out that being stress- free allows you to think about yourself a lot, and so I began “reflecting”: Where am I at this point?

I started this year setting goals for myself: to continue writing, to pass my subjects, to improve. I wanted fulfillment, and I didn’t want school to stop me this time.

But then it’s been 9 months and nothing has happened to me so far. Shet.

I feel so old already. I know I need to at least cross out some goals from that long list of things I want to do in this lifetime. But then, questions of how to do it and what to start with keep me grounded. I end up thinking too much and never actually starting. And that is bad.

But now I’m 18 and I have no more excuse to procrastinate. Because of that, I will end this blog post with an excerpt of the song that shall be the theme of my life for the coming year:

Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Pahabol: thank you to everyone who remembered my birthday ♥

{I'm feeling: tired}

I want a break

2007-09-08T20:05:00.000+08:00

The title explains it all.

Hell week is here, and I am 2% prepared. I really don't want to care about it, but since I badly need a decent grade, I'm now almost in panic mode. College life is crazy.

I've been so worried lately that the news of my impending "womanhood" hasn't even dawned on me yet. Happy birthday to me in.. umm.. how many days was it?

Unbelievable. I'm too apprehensive to care about my own birthday. And my 18th birthday at that.

*sigh*

Maybe I'll only start caring when the baked mac is here. Hehehe. I miss you, my cheesy piece of heaven! I want you now. :(

This is unfair. How I wish I was born in the summer. At least I'd have the whole vacation to celebrate my newfound oldness (newfound oldness. what a contradiction). At least I won't be a caffeine- dependent, over- stressed zombie on the day of my birthday. At least I won't be wishing "let me pass pharmchem please!" when I blow my candles. The last one is just too sad.

Oh yeah, it's mama mary's birthday today. happy birthday mama mary :)

I will now make an effort to be excited about my birthday. I counted. It's only 5 days before the big day!

I'll be waiting for that baked mac. ;)

{I'm loving: Summer Love- Justin Timberlake}

my complicated world

2007-09-06T18:47:00.000+08:00

That happy I'm-loving-life feeling just never stays.

I don't know why I always end up hating myself when I talk to you. You convince me so well. Yes, I am the worst friend in the world. Now please just leave me alone.

*sigh*

Thank God for friends and chocolate chip cookies.

{I'm feeling: lost}

do not read this if you are a high school musical fan

2007-09-01T11:16:00.000+08:00

Warning: This post will reveal bits of High School Musical 2 :)

I've always kept mum when it comes to High School Musical. Blame it on the fact that I'm one of the very very few people who hate it (yes, you have not misread that one. I really do hate High School Musical). Whenever people would soulfully sing "Breaking Free" or sigh "grabe ang gwapo gwapo ni Zac Efron!", I would just silently bow my head and try not to give a nasty remark. I figured that was better for my own safety (imagine the headlines: girl attacked by angry horde of HSM fans). For those who ask why I hate it so much, that's for me to answer in a different blog post.

Last weekend, I watched High School Musical 2. My cousin (a die-hard fan obviously), couldn't wait and bought a dvd long before it's premiere.

Don't ask why I even dared to watch (and finish) the sequel when I clearly proclaimed my hatred for the original a few sentences ago. I don't know the answer to that either.

And so on that day, without realizing, I became an official HS2 movie critic.

The movie, as expected, is just another ploy to get something big from the success of a previous film. And like any other sequel, it tries hard to create a bigger story for the characters to move around in. Sharpay returns to being the bad girl (even when she seemed converted towards the end of the first film), Ryan suddenly detaches from his sister, and Troy and Gabriella find a glitch in their happily- ever- after. These events give space for the characters to display their usual cheesiness.

Nothing made me cringe more in my seat than the we-can't-find-perfect-timing- to-kiss act played by Troy and Gabriella. It was far from cute. The story was also not well thought- out for me. Elements of it seemed unreal (Why was the entire cast employed in Sharpay and Ryan's clubhouse?), and parts of it were also unoriginal.

The music was well- composed, but when it was incorporated in the scenes, drums and guitars still played even when the scene shows only a piano. The characters also seem to memorize entire songs when it was only their first time to sing them.

The movie ended with the usual happy song and with all the characters dancing happily together. This made it typically Disney.

Over-all, the movie appeals to kids and tweens only. Those who appreciate fairy-tale-ish movies will love HSM2. Otherwise, it's a simply too much of a cutesy movie.

{I'm feeling: critical}

drug talk

2007-08-29T18:35:00.000+08:00

Mayor Lim was in the college today. He was the guest speaker for a forum on drug abuse. I attended only the last part, but it still left me thinking.

Why do people try so much to isolate themselves from the "harsh" world? WHY BE A DRUG ADDICT?

I remember tita yagi's story about a concert she recently attended. Everywhere she could see people freely sniffing their ways to utopia. It was simply insane. Wasting yourself in public is just unacceptable.

No one can expect a completely worry-free life. These things happen for a reason. Risking so much just to give yourself an excuse to detach yourself from pain is stupid. Risking so much just to fit in is stupider.

Running away and ignoring never solved anything. It just makes cowards out of people.

We do not slave to become pharmacists just to create an escape door for you idiots!

{I'm feeling: sick}

my visual dna

2007-08-29T15:31:00.000+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

--->got this from karmel. I suggest you people try it :)

{I'm loving: Do you know (pingpong song) -Enrique Inglesias}

my first attempt at blog design

2007-08-27T19:55:00.000+08:00

Finally.. I have a blog layout! And I'm super proud to say that I did this all by myself! hahaha. I've been stuck between brown/ lime green and brown/ aqua blue for the past few days. And guess who won? Lime green rules =D

Credit: "the affair" photoshop brush set by missm brushes (for the handwritten letter effect of the background)

For those who didn't get the equation on the header, here's the explanation:

I love being inspired. It makes me feel like I'm actually living (wow, did I just say that?)

Cheers to such a handsome blog!

{I'm feeling: inspired}

there's always room for firsts

2007-08-26T21:04:00.000+08:00

Being forever thin, I never imagined myself (or ever dreamt of) joining a sports competition. Not that I am such a loser in sports (the type that can't hit a ball even if it was the size of a planet); I just preferred to stay away from all the umm.. sportiness. I mean, I was never that kind of person at all. Really, I just love stagnancy more. hehehe.

But, as anyone can guess from my title, I sampled the weird world of physical activity. Yes, I joined a sports competition (cue shocked faces). It wasn't some crazy sport like boxing or ice hockey, though. Nor was it chess or darts or anything like that. I just played plain badminton.

I'd like to say that I was UP's representative for a national badminton competition, but that's not the case (and as if anyone would believe me if I said that). In fact, I was only forced to join because of P.E. class. Our finals for badminton was an inter-class tournament, and each class must choose representatives, which includes four women. I was chosen as one of those four women (there were only 7 girls in our class), and so began my sports saga.

Anne and I won 2 games out of 6 at women's doubles. That kind of sucks. But it was okay, we had fun (and isn't that the very essence of sports? haha). Plus, we looked hot in matching pigtails. hehehe.

In the end, our class won silver (Our team mates were that good). I got a silver medal! Wow. It was my first sports- related medal. It feels different when you're drained of energy and you get an award- you don't care about it 'till the next day.

A really big thanks to all our team mates for training us and giving us tips. I totally blushed at the kindheartedness of our biochem kuyas. If only they brought a certain someone along. hehehe.

By the way, I found my pencil case! Surely there is no better reward than that.

{I'm feeling: tired but on a high}

an elegy for a lost friend

2007-08-22T19:00:00.001+08:00

Today is just sad. I lost my pencil case.

I left it at the badminton court in P.E. class.

I have no idea where it is right now, although I'll try to retrieve it tomorrow.

I may end up having it back; I may not.

4 glitter pens, 2 highlighters, 1 trusty red ballpen, 1 ruler, 1 yellow bensia- type eraser, 1 yellow bensia pencil, 1 zipper- filled pencil case- all gone for what could be forever.

Noooooooooo...

=(

a nerd's treasure chest

2007-08-21T19:01:00.000+08:00

I am so happy! I replenished and cleaned my lab kit today. A big thanks to mama who went with me all the way to UP Diliman just to buy lovely (and amazingly cheap) lab stuff. I'm seriously never going back to Bambang. The price difference is just crazy.

My lab kit looks so pretty. :) I swear I have never seen it this clean before.

art will always prevail

2007-08-19T20:58:00.000+08:00

I convinced myself earlier today that I'd really start studying for my chemlab and pharmchem exams this coming saturday. But heck, as usual, I blew that plan for another one of my "artistic cravings". I couldn't help it, I had an idea! As of now my chem manuals remain untouched as I happily finished a wallpaper tile with my name all over it.

And as if that procrastination wasn't enough, I just had to put this wallpaper tile in my friendster profile.
I really think this is growing to be a sickness. Oh well, it was worth it. :)

this is what happened to me in the last few days

2007-08-16T14:56:00.000+08:00

I had three sanity- wrecking exams last Friday and Saturday. And I lost my normal self ever since then.
I suffered (and still am suffering) from what I'd like to call "traveling hell- sent body pain". One day my right arm aches, the next day it's my left arm, and the next day I find that it's in another place.
My super favorite bunny was brought to the doctor the other day (they were supposed to do a blood test to prepare for booni's neuter). They weren't able to do the blood test, but they checked my bunny's leg wound and prescribed some cream. The prescription was sooo cute (I promise I'll show it here someday).
We transferred booni's home from the terrace to the shoe "area" downstairs.
I bummed around as usual :D
I was assigned to cover the table at the tambayan. And they expected me to do cool stuff like make a "monopoly board- college of pharmacy version". haha. good luck to me.
Curse you body pain!

bleh.

2007-08-07T20:25:00.000+08:00

one word: TOXIC!!! (x_x)

of speeches and humiliation

2007-08-05T16:28:00.000+08:00

Anyone who's been to a decent school has memorized a speech or two. There's something about the memorized speech that's so important to language proficiency- at least from a teacher's perspective. Students often curse it, wishing that the punishment of having to be in such a vulnerable position would not be given to them. Standing in front of the class with only your memory to help you is vulnerable indeed, and I've heard of many stories of pure embarrassment. In fact (I'm brave so I won't deny it), one of the most humiliating experiences of my high school life had something to do with a memorized speech. (Insert very embarrassing story here). Probably that's one of the main reasons why I love written English more. But still, there's no escaping the memorized speech. It continues to haunt every innocent student taking up a communications subject. And, luckily (that was sarcastic), I'm one of those innocent students. So on Tuesday, I'll be delivering a 3-5 minute speech. Here's a copy of the speech (in case anyone's interested):

Loss of Freedom by Fulton Sheen

There is nothing the modern man prized more than freedom, but does he realize that his denial of sin is the denial of freedom? Does not freedom imply choice? Does not choice imply alternatives of good and evil?
If I do not sin when I choose the wrong alternative, then I am not responsible, but if I am not responsible then I am not free.
Cabbages, horses, adding machines, boots, ships and sealing wax cannot sin, because they have no freedom, therefore no responsibility. To deny sin is therefore to reduce man to the status of a thing.
Incidentally, this is the basic philosophical reason for Fascism, Nazism and Communism, for if man is only a thing and not a moral being, free and responsible, then why should he not be absorbed into the collectivity or totality of race as in Germany, class as in Russia, and the nation as in Italy?
We cannot have it both ways: if we are free, then we can do wrong; but if we cannot do wrong, then we are not free.
Our so-called liberal and progressive educators who denied the reality of guilt, did not, as they promised, relieve man from the shackles of "medieval morality"; but they did relieve the person of his responsibility and therefore of his freedom.
Freudian psychologists in democracies who blamed all sin or guilt on the psychical determinism of a sub-rational or even sexual factor, and the Marxian philosopher in totalitarian states who blamed sin on to the social determinism of the economic order, did not really explain away sin; but they did explain away freedom.
Men talk most about freedom when they are losing it, as they talk most about health when they are sick.
Real freedom is slipping away from the world today and the era foretold by Dostoevski is upon us: "The ages will come to pass, and humanity will proclaim by the lips of their sages that there is no crime; there is no sin; there is only hunger. In the end they will lay their freedom at our feet and say to us 'make us your slaves,' but feed us."
The denial that we could do wrong is the greatest wrong of all. The devil was wiser than modern man, for the devil tempted Adam and Eve to use their freedom falsely by eating of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
Satan was never so stupid as to think that freedom meant irresponsibility. But he has so convinced his disciples in the 20th century! He promised freedom in the beginning by inciting to evil; he takes freedom away now by denying evil. And we in our ignorance call this progress!

inadept

2007-08-05T11:57:00.000+08:00

I stink at technology.

This was never an issue for me before but now, I've realized that I need to start learning or else my perfectionist self will punish me.

html, css, photoshop, when will you cease to torture me? You know badly that I crave to be a part of your surreal world. Just hand me the skills I need to at least understand. :(

I live for self- expression, but I never thought I'd need skills to do it.

*sigh*

I swear one day I will put a decent layout for this blog. The color combination will suffice for now.

upcat talk

2007-08-04T09:05:00.000+08:00

A big good luck to my sister Karmel, who will be taking the UPCAT today. Ah, I remember the UPCAT days: it's already late, you're consumed by the studying, and you'll have to wake up at 4 am to take what is probably the toughest (and most important) test of your short high school life. hehehehe :D

Now, looking back, I believe that the UPCAT wasn't hard enough (although my brain overloaded during my time). I mean, look at me now! After 2 instances of receiving a grade I won't even mention (clue: it rhymes with knee), I have every right to say that the UPCAT is nothing compared to the difficulty of UP Manila subjects. In fact, every UPCAT test should have a warning: "Clarification: this test is nothing like college life."

Since UP would never do that and I have a Physics exam in 6 hours, I'll leave it at that.

Pahabol: Good luck also to me (for my Physics exam later and for the coming 4 or more years I still have to spend in this crazy university)

shun the ever- distracted girl

2007-08-02T23:03:00.000+08:00

I have a 50 - item quiz in Physics tomorrow. The review material is in front of me - all 100 pages of it. It's past 11:00 and I'm only halfway done. Yet I can't find the urge to pressure myself and concentrate on finishing the entire thing tonight. In the last 5 minutes I've realized that it's bad to study in front of the computer, with music blaring from it and the internet being just a click away.

Mental note: I need to stop doing this now.
.
.
.
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I really mean now. stop.
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*Sigh*

officially a sandiganer

2007-08-01T22:04:00.000+08:00

Whew! Finally, after months of eager waiting, I've made it. Thank you, UP Sandigan, for welcoming me into the family. :)

To call the path to UP Sandigan "tough" is an understatement. It's more like energy- draining, nerve- wracking, and fear- inducing: to me and to my co- applicants, at least. In fact, throughout the journey I've been wanting to change the word "fun" into "hell" in the terms "fun week" and "fun day". I thought: what fun are you people talking about? If your idea of fun is almost peeing your pants from nervousness or crying your eyes out, then it's definitely been a super "fun day".

Don't get me wrong here, I never regretted a single moment of it. In fact, I'm extremely proud that I've made and stuck by my decision to join the organization. I just never expected to experience any hardship, whatsoever. After all, never before in my existence did I have to do more than just write in a sign- up sheet to join a club. The road to Sandi was definitely a different one. But then, UP Sandigan is not just like any organization. In fact, it's not just an organization. It's a commitment, a meaningful choice. It's definitely a lot more than your usual "club".

You need to prove yourself. You need to show that you deserve to be a member and that you are willing to give a part of yourself to the organization. You need to know that all of the members are there to improve themselves and to improve others, through unity and intense dedication.

What happened during the fun day is such a big story. I don't think I can put everything in here in detail. I have probably forgotten the details, anyway. What I'll never forget and what I can share, though, is this:

I am now officially a Sandiganer. It's not just a title to me, but an award - something you've worked hard for, something that makes you proud.

Again, thank you to UP Sandigan for giving me this. I promise, you won't regret letting me in. :)

yehey!

2007-07-25T13:51:00.000+08:00

This is a milestone for me. I finally have my own blog! Usually I'm not that comfortable with letting others read my *ehem* pieces of literature but here I am! I was never a diary person, but I figured this was worth a shot. After all, I do love writing, and I think I'm okay at it (no grammatical errors here so far, right?).

To my beloved visitors and readers (if you exist):the stuff to be posted in this blog are mainly raw thoughts straight from my twisted mind. Please bear with me. And please, please, feel free to comment.=)