Saturday, January 19, 2008
My Big Book of Problems: Chapter 1
Life's been a little busy again so I haven't found time nor the right state of mind to write anything. Honestly, I'm starting to find it harder and harder to find the right words to use and turn thoughts into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, etcetera, etcetera. It's like there's this great traffic in my head that goes on all day, never ceasing, never mellowing, simply staying there and being unforgiving to silence. End result: it's been almost a month since I last wrote anything here.

Woo, I think I might be going crazy. haha. Credits to the constant, multiple stressors that never fail to pay me a visit (bleh).

Seriously, I cannot imagine not being able to write, so with a quick dose of apprehension, here I am, typing away my worries and being unmindful of whatever grammatical errors I may have created. I just feel like I need to save this part of me, to squeeze out a little time amidst the prelab reports, exams, and everyhting else, to let my guard down.

Type. Type. Just type.

I can almost imagine my conscience nagging me for failing to prioritize again. So far, all of the "me time" I should've been giving myself has given way to "sleep time". And when I wake up, hello- it's back to being busy with other things again.

It's so disappointing sometimes to have such a long to-do-list, then learning later on that you can't really do all of what's in there. Distractions don't help at all, either.
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"Time is Gold." I remember how almost everyone in highschool chose that 3- word phrase as their favorite motto in the school yearbook. It's silly, over- used, and should be banned in all yearbooks forever, but I just realized that it actually makes sense. Right now I feel like doing anything to buy me some time, to leave behind the conventional and to finally do the things I really need to do - like go on vacation, watch a movie marathon, or pet my bunny for the entire day.

I feel like I'm missing out a lot by being busy, but I guess that's just the way it has to be. I mean, I'm still lucky that at least I have things to keep me occupied, and that I'm not some bum collecting calories and being bored as hell. Besides, it's not like I can just stop all my other priorities and hope that the world stops with me, right? It's one of those situations where you can't really do anything but to go with the current and hope to reach the end of it.

Yeah, so there we go- it's back to the great traffic for me. :p
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